Wednesday, October 23, 2002
Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke. Hermann Hesse
I'm not one to post jokes but JadedJD just sent me this one and I can't stop laughing so here goes:
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St.Taffy's.
Way To Go JD
I'm not one to post jokes but JadedJD just sent me this one and I can't stop laughing so here goes:
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St.Taffy's.
Way To Go JD
'When we finally get our hands on the gear, let me tell you, it's not a drill. We're supposed to fly those babies the first time we get in them' Richard Coyle as Jeff in BBC series Coupling
Ok now I'm going to talk about a great series on BBC america on friday nights around 9 PM. It's about realtionships and six friends 3 guys, 3 girls and how they deal with their own life, sex and relationships. I strongly suggest if you have access to this channel to at least tape a few episodes because finally there's is some television worth watching and waiting for .. if you'd rather be out at 9PM on a Friday set your VCR ... Now the US is bringing a version f coupling stateside and is recasting and rewriting the whole show and I weas thinking (yes ... sometimes... I think) didn't NBC do something like that about say 9 years ago? isn't it still on at 8 PM on thursdays? if indeed this is the last season of friends, will six friends replace ... six friends? Don't you americans have any sort of imagination????
Ok now I'm going to talk about a great series on BBC america on friday nights around 9 PM. It's about realtionships and six friends 3 guys, 3 girls and how they deal with their own life, sex and relationships. I strongly suggest if you have access to this channel to at least tape a few episodes because finally there's is some television worth watching and waiting for .. if you'd rather be out at 9PM on a Friday set your VCR ... Now the US is bringing a version f coupling stateside and is recasting and rewriting the whole show and I weas thinking (yes ... sometimes... I think) didn't NBC do something like that about say 9 years ago? isn't it still on at 8 PM on thursdays? if indeed this is the last season of friends, will six friends replace ... six friends? Don't you americans have any sort of imagination????
Monday, October 21, 2002
There is more to life than increasing its speed. Mahatma Gandhi
We just got High speed internet access... and only one page out of ten loads up correctly... Is this the way to really enter the 21st century? I wonder......
Today is also 5 years since I started dating my wife... and I still wonder how she's managed being with me all this time without wringing my neck.... Aaah the misteries of life....
We just got High speed internet access... and only one page out of ten loads up correctly... Is this the way to really enter the 21st century? I wonder......
Today is also 5 years since I started dating my wife... and I still wonder how she's managed being with me all this time without wringing my neck.... Aaah the misteries of life....
